see...

Girl Talk.

Lighthouses?

Accidentally Surprised.

or
Who Surprised Whom??

me: Hi honey.
TY so much for the flowers you sent me.
him: {long pause} {unsteady voice} huh? What flowers?
me: The flowers that just showed up at my door.
him: {obviously confused} Flowers? What do they look like?
me: They are pink and roses and smell VERY good.
him: {long pause}
him: Those are not supposed to be delivered until NEXT Thursday!!!
me: {giggles}
him: {explaining why he was sending flowers NEXT Thursday}
me: Well, now I can sit and look at the dead flowers and whine while you are busy partying in the bomb shelter.
him: {dryly} yeah.
me: {giggling}
me: thank you for the pretty flowers honey, I LOVE them. I will love them dead in a week, too.

All Mixed Up.

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together.
The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffy, in great detail.
The robbery begins...
Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffy,
"I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan.
You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash.
Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," said Buffy.
Buffy goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes... Two minutes pass... Seven minutes pass...and Judy is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open!
And here comes Buffy.
She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car.
About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.
The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.
As the gals are getting away, Judy says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"
Buffy said, "I did... I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot," said Judy.
"You got it all mixed up.

I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"

Marketing Definitions.

People have asked for an explanation of Marketing. Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:


You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

~ That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."

~ That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say,"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

~ That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

~ That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

~ That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.

~ That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

~ That's Technical Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

~ That's Spam

Wordless Wednesday.

?!

Question:
"If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?"

Answer:
Yes,
but you're gonna have to wear the little outfit.

Wordless Wednesday {part 2}

Wordless Wednesday {part 1}

not so bad.

bad.

brille nötig?

oops.

*giggle*