Wanted:

Single Blondie seriously seeking a charming yet narcissistic and obsessive man for instantaneous commitment. This magnificently devoted man must possess the following traits.

Must be willing to put me on a pedestal and refer to me as his queen as this allows me to feel quite uncomfortable and will have me continually second guessing myself.

Lying is a necessary part of any relationship and must be continuous and quite convincing even while looking me in the eyes.

Should be insanely jealous and accuse me of cheating yet be remarkably proficient in the fine art of flirting with anyone but me while I am at his side. Secreted girlfriends are a fundamental part of a relationship with me so please do not hesitate to contact me if this is your style. Must be prepared to convince me that we are destined to be together and completely reject every notion to the contrary.

Has a knack for encouraging me to participate in activities that are important to him while flat out refusing to participate in mine. An additional option would be to involve himself in everything I do while losing his own individuality. Either works well for me.

I am fond of a man who has the ability to disappear without a word for days at a time ignoring all attempts to contact and sending me into a swirl of panic only to resurface days later completely unscathed and ready to continue the relationship as if nothing has occurred.

Then at a time when my spirit is crushed almost beyond repair he must be willing to move on quickly, profess undying love and at the same time mistreat me emotionally. As an extra special touch he should then allow all the lies to truly come to light in order to completely quell my ability to trust again.

If you are able to make me feel guilty on a continuing basis and are able to fault me for everything that is wrong in our relationship as well as posses the above qualities, please contact me without delay. You may be my ideal man.


The above “Wanted” ad is entirely an exercise in awareness and healing. Barbara DeAngelis, in her book, "Are you the one for me?" suggests that you compile a list of all the men {or women} you have been with and the bad qualities associated with them. Then take the list and circle the common qualities and write an advertisement for someone with those qualities because that is what you are focusing on and until you change your "ad" you will continue to draw like men {or women} into your life.