dis....missed!

I seriously do not know if I am more hurt or furious. Maybe I was wrong in a post in the archives where I stated that I deserved better. Maybe I don't. I truly don't know anymore. Do I care too much or not enough? I guess I am just bewildered at being set aside because I don't offer what someone else does. Perhaps thats the point and is how it should be. I just don't know anymore. I suppose that expecting people {read men} to be as compassionate and considerate as I would like to think I would be is one of my biggest downfalls.

Maybe it would be easier to swallow being set aside if it wasn't happening with more than one of you at the same time.

*shrugs*

I think I will work on just not caring anymore. That may be my saving grace. Cold and uncaring doesn't get hurt. Frankly I am sick of getting hurt. I have noone to blame but myself. I let the wall down enough to let people in. I dont' know if the damage is as extensive as it has been in the past or if its just a little more scarring. I just know it hurts.

*sometimes the tears fall in spite of my resolve*